


Nobody Knows Where We Might End Up

by EarthsSassiestHeroes



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Car Accidents, F/M, M/M, Mentions Of Previous Characters Deaths, Serious Injuries, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-22
Updated: 2013-06-27
Packaged: 2017-12-15 20:11:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/853576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EarthsSassiestHeroes/pseuds/EarthsSassiestHeroes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The brain is the human bodies most mysterious part of the human body. It lets us feel love. Clint thinks it might just hold our souls. When it's traumatized it becomes even more mysterious. </p><p>Clint Barton is a talented orthopedic surgeon getting away for the weekend with his boyfriend pediatric surgeon Steve Rogers. When a proposal and car crash leave Clint with life threatening injuries. It's up to their colleagues to save Clint's life while Steve and Natasha struggle to cope with the chance they could lose the most important man in their lives. </p><p>An Avengers AU based on Grey's Anatomy 'A Song Within A Song'.* **</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Those Three Words Are Said Too Much - They’re Not Enough

**Author's Note:**

> I never took Biology, so most of this medical talk is totally bogus and the result of wikipedia so consider yourself warned. Also despite some near calls, there will be a happy ending.
> 
> And for those who aren't familiar with Grey's Anatomy or the Song within A Song Episode here's all you need to know. Callie and Arizona are two doctors who are in love. They are in a car accident and Callie is seriously injured. While in serious condition she sees everything as a musical (like Glee but not funny or evil). This is not a musical. I just was inspired by the songs and the accident story line. This chapter is based on the beginning of the episode in which the cast sing Chasing Cars by The Fray.

Clint Barton felt for the first time in a long time. He is sitting in the front seat of his boyfriend’s car. His sexy Doctor boyfriend, who is blonde, handsome, kind and saves children’s lives. He is about to spend a beautiful blissful weekend doing with nothing to do but have sex, cuddle and eat room service.

“Clint, put on your seat belt.” Steve scolds. Rain falling softly on the windshield of the car. Clint smiles to himself. A years ago the first man he had ever kissed walked off into the night never to return again. Two years ago his ex-girlfriend Bobby was hit by a car after pushing a young boy out of the way saving his life. His life had been so filled with darkness and pain. Days and nights spent mending broken bones. And then he met the new pediatrics resident Doctor Steve Rogers. A bright light in a dark world. His thoughts drift as he looks at Steve. The strong line of his jaw. Eyes the color of a clear summer day. Broad shoulders and strong arms. He realizes Steve is talking to him.

“Sorry, what did you say?” Clint looks over with a lazy smile.

“I said... Let’s get married.” Steve says with seriousness, glancing over for a moment to meet Clint’s eyes.

“You’re serious?” Clint asks with a slack jaw.

“I love you. I want to start a family with you. I want to stand up in front of everyone and show them how much I love you.” Steve’s voice is so earnest. Clint smiles at it. Smiles at the whole situation. He takes in the look on Steve’s face. He’s nervous. Worried Clint would say no. He knows some part of Steve worries that nothing in his life is permanent. That one day Clint could leave him. Like Coulson could appear at any moment to steal him away. Or he and Natasha will decide to try and make it work. He feels a twinge of pain.

Remembers the fight they had when Steve had shown up out of the blue. Steve who had chosen saving kids in Africa over staying with Clint. He’d never faulted Steve. Good sweet Steve who only wanted to do the right thing. The look of pain in his eyes when he heard Natasha’s voice from the shower. The way his face dropped when he put two and two together. The way his tears broke Clint’s heart. It hadn’t meant anything. He was lonely and it hurt and it just seemed like a good idea when he crawled into Natasha’s bed.

He realizes that Steve is waiting for some semblance of an answer. Of course Clint wants to marry Steve. It seems to right and so perfect. “Steve, I...” as he speaks the world is suddenly moving in slow motion.

 ***

The sound of car horns and screeching tires. Breaking glass and suddenly every nerve in Clint’s body is searing in pain. Somewhere in the distance he can hear Steve screaming. He realizes he is looking down at their car. A truck crumpled into the front of their car. And Clint is laying on the hood. For a moment the sight is so bizarre. Looking down at the scene as if he happened upon it. Like he is an innocent bystander, gawking at someone else's tragedy. To see himself there prone and crumpled on the hood of their car. His stomach torn on the jagged edge of the windshield. He hears Steve screaming.

“I need you to call 911!” There are tears streaming down his face. Small cuts across his face. The rain wetting his hair.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” a man is pleading over and over again. The man must be the driver.

“I need you to shut the fuck up and call 911. Stop apologizing and just do it.” Steve’s voice is hoarse and he sounds scared. Clint thinks to himself Steve never sounds scared like this. “Clint baby. It’s gonna be ok. You are gonna be ok. I need you to stay with me.”

Clint can see it in his eyes. The look he gets when he talks about his days in the war. When he talks about his comrades who’d come home in flag draped coffins. He wants to hold Steve. To tell him it’s ok. But he can’t. He is laying on the hood of his car bleeding from his mouth and his gut. He watches as his body heaves and twitches. He wants to say how he loves Steve. How he wants to marry him. Get a dog. Adopt a little kid like he knows Steve has always wanted to do. But all he can do is watch as his blood mixes with the rain and Steve’s pleading voice fades in and out. He looks into his own eyes and sees an animalistic fear. His own sorrow reflected back at him.

***  


“Doctor Romanoff I need to speak with you for a moment.” Pepper’s voice is quiet.

“Go head Potts, what’s up?” Natasha nodded as she continues working away on the patient beneath her.

“I think it’s best that I wait till your done.” Pepper says, a trace of concern breaking her practiced facade.

“I kicked ass on this one! Like a ninja. A surgery ninja.” She turns her head to an intern. “All done. You good to finish?” She waits for a nod and moves out of the way. “So Pepper what’s up?”

 ***

“What the hell happened?” Natasha shouts as she bursts out of the doors. Her eyes are wild and her voice like a crash of thunder.

“Car versus truck that’s all we know,” Thor says quickly, his eyes avoid hers as he looks out to the horizon.

“His injuries? What’s his condition? Steve?” She asks. Panic rising in her voice and bile at the back of her throat.

“We don’t know anything yet Nat.” Stark replies with a look that conveys his concern and sympathy.

“Somebody get me a trauma gown and some gloves!” She shouts. Her face is flushed red, her hair pulled back in a tight bun.

“Romanoff, I’m sorry but you’re sitting this one out. You are way too close to do this.” Fury says in that voice he gets when he orders one of his doctors to do something. His eyes filled with earnestness. The voice he uses when it is a statement and not a polite request. The ambulance screeches up a blur of red and blue lights.

“The fuck I am! He’s my best friend!” She is seething with rage, the threat of violence in her green eyes.

“Which is exactly why you know as well as I do that you need to let us help him. He’s one of our own. We are going to do everything we can.” His words are heavy in the air. “Odinson take point,” Doctor Fury calls out.

The siren dies as they open the doors. Steve rushes out first and steps to the side. His face is streaked with blood and bits of dirt. His blond hair matted with blood against his forehead. There are lines down his face where tears have washed away the gore. His bright blue eyes points of contrast against his bloodshot eyes.

“His pulse is erratic and weak. Possible spinal trauma, abdomen torn open. BP dropping fast.” His voice is strained as he tries his best to hold his composure. To do anything he can to help his colleagues save the man he loves. As they pull the stretcher out, Clint’s face is a mottled mess of dark purples and blacks. Dark blood runs from cuts on his face. A bandage wrapped around his head is soaking with blood. His breaths coming in sharp bursts. His eyes wild and searching. Strapped to the stretcher his hands clutch wildly. He tries to speak, his teeth coated in blood. His words nothing more than frantic gurgles.

“What the fuck happen?” Natasha screams her eyes betraying the fear lurking behind her rage.

“I asked him to marry me. I asked him to marry me and a truck came out of nowhere.” Steve’s eyes increasingly vacant as his fellow doctors swarm around the stretcher rushing inside. Their words overlapping, calling out stats.

 ***

“His right pupil is blown out!” Stark calls out as they move.

“There’s too much blood, he’s gonna need a transfusion.” Doctor Banner calls out. “5 units of O neg.”

“He’s A Positive,” Steve calls out as he trails behind.

“Scratch that and get 5 A positive!” Bruce calls out to Lewis.

“We are gonna need to open him up, echo shows damage to the left ventricle!” Hill calls out. Suddenly the room fills with a loud beeping as the heart monitor flatlines. For a split second the only sound that fills the room is the electronic buzzing and the sound of Steve’s choked sobs from the corner of the room.

“Charge to 200!” Odinson bellows. “Clear!” The doctors pull back as electricity surges through Clint’s body and he his body is rigid. “Again!” breaths are held as Steve’s sobs become heavy wracked cries. The surge of electricity brings back the steady rhythmic beeps on the machines. “Get him to the OR now!” As they wheel him towards the elevators Clint can see himself wheeled away. He wishes he could wipe the tears in Steve’s eyes. Tell him yes. Tell him how much he means to him. As he watches himself disappear behind closing elevator doors, he realizes something. As his co-workers mill about with desperate concern painted across their faces, he realizes he isn’t going to die today. He can’t give up on this now. Not after all he has been through. Not after finding a ray of sunlight piercing through the foggy skies.

 


	2. Winter Just Wasn't My Season

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Odinson realizes they have done all they can for the moment and need to let Clint's body rest. Sam Wilson checks on Steve and Bucky finds Natasha in a stairwell.

“His body can’t handle anymore. We are gonna prepare for a temporary closure and come back tomorrow.” Odinson sighs as he surveys the damaged man open before him.

“What does that mean?” Darcy asks her face projecting her concern. Her dark eyes watery. She looks to Doctor Banner.

“It means we are gonna close him up. If he makes it through the night we’ll go back in.” His voice straining to hide his own fear and frustration.

“Everyone not needed clear out! And Barnes go keep an eye on Romanoff.” He adds as he glances up to the viewing gallery where Rogers sits still in his blood stained clothes tears in his eyes. James looks up to the gallery and the sight of Steve in such pain makes a sinking pit in his core.

“I’ll check in on Rogers, Buck.” Sam Wilson says quietly as he clasps a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. He knows it’s for the best. Natasha needs someone to be there for her right now. And as much as Bucky wants to be there for his friend, he knows he would just remind Steve of all the friends they left behind in the sand.

“Thanks Wilson,” he nods as he rushes from the operating room and begins searching the hospital for Natasha. His heart is beating like a drum and his heart is sinking. He’s barely spoken to Natasha since they broke up several months earlier. He never would have believed it if you told him he’d break up with the infamous Black Widow because she wouldn’t go public with their relationship. She was known for breaking the hearts of fellow doctors, male nurses and interns. He’d known about her the moment he started his internship. But then she’d kissed him. He saw stars and it was all downhill from there. He could still hear his own voice as he screamed at her. Called her heartless. That she was dead inside.

But he always knew deep down inside that she was just even more broken then he was. She was just too proud to admit it. But that look in her eyes as he watched her rush down the halls. When he’d heard the nurses saying that Barton and Steve had been in a wreck and Barton was being rushed in. He saw that scared little girl. He knows he has to find her. A dark fear creeping up his spine at the thought. The one person she truly cared about was Clint.

***

“Steve...?” Wilson asks quietly from the doorway of the viewing room. Steve doesn’t look up, he just stares blankly down as he watches his fellow doctors trying in vain to save the man he loves. Sam walks over and sits down next to the blond doctor. “What do you need?” Steve glances towards him for a moment before resuming his vigil. “I can get you a change of clothes. Stitch up that nasty cut.”

“I’m OK. I’m fine...” Steve says quietly. His breath hitches and he begins to cry softly. A gentle arm wrapping around him. “I can’t lose him. Not like this.” His voice quiet, as if he hadn’t even meant to speak out loud.

***

Bucky opens the door to a stairwell and finds Natasha sitting staring at her hands. “You don’t have to do this. I know you hate me.” She looks up her eyes red and swollen. Her skin is ashen. She’s a mess of scarlet and greys.

“I don’t hate you Nat.” Bucky smiles in spite of himself. A brief and fleeting reaction. He’d screamed it at her so many times. Looking at her now, he realizes he never once meant it.

“He’s my best friend James.” A single tear rolling down her cheek. He realizes he’s never seen her cry. All the fights. The broken plates. The horrible names and hurt glances. But she never once cried in front of him. He knows she has. Heard it in her voice on a rare occasion. Seen it in her eyes when she’d lost a patient. He sits down next to her, pulling her into his chest. Wrapping his arms around her. She seems so small all the sudden. With her face out of sight she begins to sob quietly. Bucky can feel the tears seep through his scrubs. He holds her tighter and his heart breaks a little bit more as he tries to hold back the memories the smell of her hair floods into his mind. The cold winter night they first kissed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is shorter then the last one but the next one should be longer. Thank you for continuing to read. Hope you enjoy it.


	3. This Is How We Operate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The attendings debate on the best course of action for treating Clint's injuries. Foster, Potts and Lewis talk about the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> References to a mass shooting that took place at the hospital prior to the story. Also again I know nothing about medicine so medical stuff is just made up.

“We’ve got you Clint. The attendings are getting together and we are gonna make a plan.” Tony Stark says quietly as he looks down at Clint’s prone and damaged form. Tubes and wires coming from every part of his body. His face a smear of yellows, purples and blacks. Tony’s voice normally full of snark and bravado is quiet and soft. He thinks of the times he thought he might lose Pepper. The look on her face as he bled out from a gunshot wound. He forced back a tear and got up. As much as he acted the ass he wanted nothing more than his friends happiness. What good was being a genius neurosurgeon if you can’t save your friends.

 

“He needs major heart surgery.” Hill’s voice is stern.

“We need to wait until he’s more stable. His brain won’t be able to handle the surgery.” Stark sighs because this argument is going around in circles. “If we try this he might never come back. What’s the point of saving his heart if he’ll be a vegetable.”

Suddenly they were all talking at once. Hill shouting at Tony. Banner trying in vain to point out the pros and cons of leaving Clint a while longer allowing his body to rest. Suddenly Thor Odinson’s voice cuts through the din like a crack of thunder. “Calm down!” They all turned to him, jaws slack. “We can’t save our friend if we can’t work together as a team. I know we are all scared and tired. But we can’t allow our emotions to cloud our judgement.”

 

“Can you believe we were taking bets on when Rogers would finally pop the question? And now this?” Darcy asked as she sips her coffee looking through the glass door as the attendings fight and plan.

“We are going to Hell.” Pepper sighs.

“Don’t we already work in Hell?” Jane’s voice a pained attempt at levity.

“I almost died.” Pepper nodded. “Bobbi did. Janet got cancer right after losing Hank. Wanda and Pietro didn’t make it out of the shooting. Tony almost bled out.”

“I almost had my brains splattered over OR 6 trying to save Tony.” Jane added.

“Barton’s been through so much though...” Darcy sighed. “I mean we lost Bobbi, then Coulson walks off to heaven knows where.. I thought he was finally gonna get his happy ending.” The air suddenly becomes thicker. The ghosts of friends and patients clouding the air. They’d all lost so much. It’s why they fight so hard to do what little they can to save others the pain of that loss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hank Pym was fellow resident Janet's husband. He had died and less then a year later Janet had gotten cancer. 
> 
> Obdiah Stane lost his wife after she had a stroke and brain surgery. He blamed Tony Stark and shot him. Jane Foster performed emergency heart surgery to save him. When Mr. Stane put a gun to her head and demanded she let Tony die she refused. Sharon Carter was also shot in the stomach during the shooting but was saved by Barnes and Romanoff. Residents Wanda and Pietro were both killed in the shooting.


	4. If You Wait Too Long He Will Be Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha and Steve fight about Clint's care. Thor and the other attendings make a plan of action. Bruce and Darcy worry Steve and Natasha's fighting is stopping them from being there for Clint. And Tony worries Clint might already be lost.

“We are not having this argument Natasha!” Steve screamed. Steve who never raised his voice. Steve who smiled and patients smiled back. His eyes were puffy and red. His voice hoarse.

“We are Steve. These complications could leave him half the man he was. Clint would want us to do anything we can to make sure he’s able to be a surgeon!” Natasha’s voice was seething.

“He can’t be a surgeon if he’s dead!” Steve fixing her with a cold stare. The words hanging between them.

“He’d rather be dead then spend the rest of his life in a hospital bed.” There are tears brimming in her eyes.

“You don’t get to make that decision Natasha. You don’t get a say in any of this!” Steve yells. His hands trembling. “I love him. I need him!”

“You think I don’t love him? How fucking dare you Rogers! I was the one who was there when he woke up screaming your name in the night. When he just sat in bed all day crying. Because you went halfway around the world because your career meant more to you than him!” Her words cut deep and Steve looks as though he’s been stabbed in the chest.

“You mean you were there to fuck him!” Steve’s eyes focus on the words as they escape his mouth. A look of shock at his own vulgarity.

 

“Close the doors Lewis?” Bruce asks softly as he winces at the screaming voices of Rogers and Romanoff. She moves to the glass doors and slides them close, the screaming reduced to a soft background noise.

“They don’t mean it Barton. They’re just scared. We’re all scared. Anger’s just the violent iteration of fear.” His dark brown eyes look up to meet Darcy Lewis. Her face normally bright and vibrant is drawn and grey.

“Do you think he’ll be...?” Darcy asks. Her question trailing off to silence.

“Years ago if you had asked me, I’d say yes. But sometimes I feel like there is a dark cloud over this place. But their fighting like cats and dogs isn’t gonna do any good.” Bruce sighs. “I just wish they’d stop this. He needs them both right now.”

  
  


“In 8 hours we will begin preparations. Hill will work on repairing the damage to Clint’s heart. Stark will focus on the brain bleed. The rest of us will focus on making sure his other injuries remain relatively stable until they finish.” Thor’s voice is authoritative. “Everyone try and get some sleep. Banner, have a resident by his side at all times. Alert us if there are any changes.”

  
  


“How did it go?” Pepper asks softly from here place on the small bed.

“I think we have it figured out. But I’m worried the damage is already done.” Tony’s voice small and strained with worry.

“You’re worried he might already be too far gone?” She asks knowing full well that’s what he meant.

“His brain has been through so much. It might not recover. Clint might already be gone. We might be fighting for nothing more than an empty shell.”

“Come get some sleep Tony.” She pats the bed and pulls back the blanket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry these chapters are so short. I promise there will be a happy ending!


	5. Ain't No Clouds In My Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint has a case of deja vu and contemplates whether he is ready to say Yes. Steve and Natasha receive an update on Clint's condition.

Clint looks down at his phone and grins. “Tasha is upset cause Barnes is dating that hot blond Carter.” Sun is shining through the windows the world painted in a hazy glow.

“I thought the whole point of this was to get away from the drama,” Steve sighed with that look that Clint is supposed to think looks stern and not totally adorable. His brows furrowed together and his bright blue eyes glaring playfully.

“Fine. See!” Clint shrugs as he throws his phone over his shoulder to the back seat. Seconds later it beeps alerting them of another message. Steve sighs in frustration.

“Just get it. You know she won’t stop.” His eyes fixing on the horizon. Clint smiles mischievously. He unbuckles his seatbelt and climbs half into the back seat to grab his discarded phone. A sudden sense of deja vu washes over him. His eyes widen as he looks up to Steve.

“You’re gonna ask me to marry you.” Clint says quietly staring at Steve with wild eyes.

“What?No I’m not!” Steve glances over before fixing his eyes forward. “Put on your seatbelt!”

“You’re gonna ask me to marry you. And then a truck is gonna come out of nowhere and hit us.”  Clint feels like he is having a premonition, like some tacky show about a psychic who solves crimes.

“If we’re gonna be hit by a truck you should put on your seatbelt.” Steve’s voice struggling to hide his amused tone.

“But I don’t know. I mean I didn’t answer... cause I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about it?” His voice trails up in amusement.

“Put on your seatbelt!” Steve’s voice growing sterner.

“I mean is this what it’s like? You fall in love, get married. Is this what it’s like for other people?” His voice is soft and dreamy, as if contemplating the nature of the universe. Which isn’t the nature of love one of those grand things worth contemplating?

“I don’t care about other people Clint.” Steve’s voice laced with frustration and nerves.

“I mean other people have it. Why can’t I? Stark has Pepper. Odinson and Foster do, even if she’s kind of socially stunted. Hell even Tasha and Bucky have. They both are too fucked up to see it but they do.” Clint smiles thoughtfully, his eyes crinkling slightly around the edges.

“Clinton Francis Barton. Put. Your. Seatbelt. On!” Steve says in that voice he uses on the older kids who don’t want to behave.

“I want that Steve. I want you. I want rings. And flowers. And vows. Yes!” Clint smile broadens lighting up his face. “Because I love you.” He says it with such conviction. As if it those words are the truest to ever grace his mouth. He laughs, head thrown back.

“Put on your seatbelt!” Steve sounds exasperated.

“It’s like sunshine. You smile and I feel warmed from the inside out. You’re so smart and good and perfect. And don’t even get me started on that body!” Clint grins, lashes lowered. His hand reaches out and rubs Steve’s broad shoulder. Steve smiles broadly. His blue eyes sparkling in the sunlight. He thinks about how he feels for Steve. How his friends feel for the people they love. He thinks about the gleam in Tony’s eyes when he sees Pepper after a long day. The way Natasha looks at Barnes when she thinks no one is looking. The look of passion Thor gets around Foster or the way she giggles like a schoolgirl when he surprises her with small gifts and romantic gestures.

He takes in the sight of Steve. Strong handsome features against the blue of the sky. Soft light making the edges of everything glow.

“Clint.” Tony’s voice calls. He sounds far away, echoing in Clint’s head. “Clint can you hear me?” Suddenly Clint is on the hood of the car. His body a million tiny points of pain. He tastes the faint trace of coppery blood. Tony is looking at him concerned. The sun lighting him from behind making it hard for Clint to focus. “I know it hurts. But we need to lower your sedation to check on your neural function.”

 

“Clint can you move your hand for me?” Tony asks. Clint’s eyes flutter but he remains still. “A finger. Can you move your finger for me Clint?” His hands remain still at his sides. The silence in the room deafening.

“What are we gonna tell them?” Banner asks.

 

“Well?” Steve asks. The look of hope in his eyes sends a icy pain through Tony’s heart.

“It’s too soon to know anything for certain.” Tony says in a way that sounds forced and practiced.

“Stark. Don’t give us the lines. Give us the details. Did he respond?” Natasha’s voice is cold and icy, thin veneer protecting her pain. Tony looks from Steve to her and down at the floor.

“He didn’t respond.” Bruce offers. He looks up to meet their eyes for a moment before looking away. Natasha walks out of the room a look of sheer unadulterated rage in her eyes. Steve stifling a sob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise I'm not gonna kill Clint. Thanks for continuing to read and comment.


	6. And When You're On Your Own - I'll Send You A Sign

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doctor Foster suggests a controversial procedure that could save Clint's life but Hill feels it is too dangerous. Steve isn't sure if Clint can here him but talks to him anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again I know nothing of biology or medicine so ya.

“There is a procedure Doctor Selvig performed that would drastically reduce the amount of time on bypass, and decrease the risk of further oxygen deprivation to the brain.” Jane offered looking at the wall of scans. She explains the procedure, looking hopefully from Odinson to Hill.

“It’s too risky Foster.” Hill fixes her with a cold stare.

“Thor? You’re the lead on her case. What do you think?” Jane asks turning to meet the tall blonde’s eyes. A look of cold determination. Before he can answer Maria interjects.

“Don’t just go to your boyfriend expecting him to overrule my decision.” Her voice is incredulous. Jane turns back and meets her with an equally determined stare.

“I am not asking my boyfriend. I am asking the lead surgeon on Clint’s case,” Jane spits before turning back to meet Thor’s eyes.

“I’m sorry but if Maria thinks it’s too risky, I have to trust her judgement on this one.” Thor concedes with a pained look.

“This is Clint! We need to do everything we can!” Jane shouts as she throws her hands up and leaves fixing Maria Hill with a withering stare.

  
  
  


Steve looks down at Clint and feels as though his very soul has left his body. Like a piece of him is laying there in that bed. He is a mess of bruises and cuts. Tubes and wires. His face is stitched in several places and where it isn’t mottled with bruises it’s grey and sallow. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Tries to remember Clint before this.

The first time he saw Clint. A scowl across his face, brows furrowed and bright eyes staring angrily at the chart of a patient. The first time he kissed Clint. Clint who was handsome and snarky. Whose eyes were sad when he thought no one was looking.

He remembers the fights they’ve had. The way Clint’s eyes looked so like a little boys when Steve had decided to go to Africa with or without Clint. He had regretted it almost immediately. Pushed down the sinking in his stomach. He was doing good work but his mind never strayed far from thoughts of Clint.

“I’m not sure if you can hear me,” Steve says quietly placing a hand softly on Clint’s arm. “But I’m gonna talk anyway.” He takes a deep breath and sighs. “We need you Clint. I need you. Natasha is a wreck even though she’d never admit it. They are doing everything they can. But if you can hear me I need you to know you can’t give up. You’ve gotta fight. You were always so strong.” Steve’s eyes are brimming with tears.

 

Clint looks down at Steve crying over his unconscious form. Steve looks dead on his feet. He wants nothing more than to hold Steve in his arms. To kiss him and tell him it’s all right. He looks at his own face. Nearly unrecognizable. A mess of pain and injury.

‘You still gonna love me when I look like the elephant man’ Clint’s words a figment of his own fractured mind. ‘I love you Steve. I am gonna get through this. Cause I have you. I’ve never really had anyone worth fighting for.’ Clint places his hands on the ankles of his prone body before him and closes his eyes. Willing himself to do something, anything to let Steve know he isn’t gone. That he is right here.

  
  


Steve is staring down at Clint when he feels his arm move slightly under his hand. He looks at Clint’s hand. His fingers tapping against the blankets. At first Steve thinks it’s a spasm. He is about to scream for a nurse or the resident who’d only stepped away for a moment. When he realizes Clint’s two middle fingers are pressed against his palm. The others held out. It takes him a moment but he remembers. Clint had been closest with a deaf girl at his foster home when he was a kid. His hands were pressed into the symbol that meant love.

“I love you too Clint. It’s gonna be OK. We are gonna beat this together.” Steve said with a smile contrasting against the tears streaking down his cheeks.


	7. Come What May - I Won't Fade Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint is taken into surgery to prepare the bleeding in his brain, heart and internal organs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next three chapters are super short but I wanted to post them as seperate rather then as one big chapter. But they are all up at once so ya.

Clint is being wheeled into surgery. The faces of his fellow surgeons are like soldiers going into battle. A somber sense of purpose settling over them. Clint is rolled through the halls of the hospital. Everything seems to move a fraction slower. Natasha and Steve following the mournful parade of surgeons and nurses until the final set of swinging doors. Their sorrow reflected back at them in the glass of the doors. Whispers of hope and love dying on their lips.

 

Natasha finds Tony in an on call room. She invades his personal space. Staring him in the eye. “He’s all I have Stark.”

“We’re gonna save him Nat. We have to.” He holds her close, even though she would never admit it.

 

“Steve?” Bucky’s voice is quiet reaching into the dim light of the viewing room.

“Yeah?” Steve’s voice is raw and scratchy.

“I figured you’d need someone to sit with you.” He walks quietly across the room and takes a seat next to the taller blond. Steve’s gratitude is visible in the pain filled blue of his eyes. “Barton is a scrappy son of a bitch. He’s gonna get through this Steve.” Worry in the dark blue of Barnes’ eyes. The door closes softly but the noise is enough to draw their attention. Natasha is standing off. Her eyes meet Steve’s and something lightens in the room. She moves and sits down next to Steve on the side opposite Bucky. She grasps his hand.

“He’s gonna make it through this Steve. He’s got so much to live for.” Her words are quiet.

 


	8. And Pray To God He Hears You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SUPER SHORT! I meant this to be longer but I just can't write good surgery drama.... (why did I write hospital AU?)

The surgery begins like any other. The room heavy and the air is thick. The surgeons move in a steady practiced dance.   
“The brain bleed is controlled.” Stark says a ghost of a smile on his lips. They are nowhere near out of the woods. When the monitors begin to beep frantically the tension becomes a tightly drawn line.   
“Hill we need to get her heart pumping!” Odinson calls.   
“I’m trying!” Hill says a hint of panic breaking through her practiced demeanor.   
“I can still fix this using Selvig’s technique.” Jane says tersely. Thor and Maria’s eyes meet before the tall blond nods in frustration. “Hill step aside. Foster get to work.”

Steve watches the surgery his hand on the glass. Natasha to his right. Clint watches both. The look of terror and helplessness as they watch. “Come on Clint. You have to beat this.” Steve whispers, tears streaking down his face. Clint places his hand on Steve’s. Wishing Steve could feel him. Could hear his words.   
“I love you Steve.” fingers ghosting over Steve’s. Lips against his ear. Steve’s eyes meet Natasha’s and they both rush from the room. They burst into the OR.  
“He’s stable, vitals improving. Let’s get him closed up.” Odinson smiles meeting the wild eyes of the two panicked doctors.


	9. They Don't Know What I've Been Through Like You Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint is out of surgery and now it's just a matter of waiting and hoping.

Clint has been a survivor his whole life. He’d had a shitty childhood, bounced from foster home to foster home. He’d managed to graduate top of his class. He got a scholarship and studied pre-med. He was on his way to becoming the surgeon he’d always dreamed about when he’d met the pretty blond resident Bobbi. They’d had a messy wild crazy relationship. Drunkenly married and later somberly annulled. He thought he had loved Bobbi. She was everything he thought he wanted. Brash and wild. Beautiful and smart.   
He could still remember the look on Pepper’s face when she told him the Jane Doe that had been brought in mangled beyond recognition was Bobbi. The way the world had spun on a tilted axis in slow motion. The looks of sorrow on the nurses face as he rushed into the room. The guilt he felt tugging in his stomach. That he couldn’t be what she needed. What she deserved. She was so brave and reckless and good. She died so someone else could live. It was as simple as that. She would've been happy to know she didn’t die in vain.   
When he first met Doctor Coulson, there was something that sparked inside of him. Those kind blue eyes. The way he was so professional and put together. A stark contrast to the reckless wild ways Clint lived his life. He remembers the way his heart sung when he told Clint he had feelings for him. The way his lips felt against Clint’s. And as quick as there was a warmth in Clint’s soul, there was an aching void.   
But then there was Steve. All blond hair and apple pie good looks. The man who left the army so he could help save children. The man who didn’t look at him like he was pathetic when he told him about foster care, the abuse. Who’d held him close when he cried out in the night for his brother or his mother. The only person who ever really knew Clint. Who saw him all the way down to the dark awful open emotional wounds and loved him. Not in spite of but all the more for his flaws. 

“So what now?” Natasha asks, her hand in Steve’s. His eyes don’t look up from Clint’s sleeping form. Her eyes are hard like steel as she stares expectantly at Tony Stark.  
“We have to wait. Banner and Odinson assure me that his injuries are taken care of. But we won’t know much else until he wakes up. With injuries like this there isn’t really a time line.” Natasha doesn’t say anything. She knows he is right. That where things go from here is all up to Clint and some sort of cruel sense of fate. 

Clint looks down at Steve holding his hand. He looks tired, dark bags under his eyes. His hair disheveled and oily. A small bandage covers a cut on his forehead.   
“We don’t have to get married. We don’t need a house, or kids or a dog. All I want is you.” Steve whispers gently.   
Clint’s very being aches at the sight. No one has ever loved him as much as Steve has. No one has ever made him feel the way he feels when he sees him. No ones tears have made his very being tremble. He clenches his eyes shut. Thinks of all the things he hasn’t had a chance to say. All the things he has yet to do and see. How he wants to grow old, with Steve. How he wants to make Steve’s dreams come true.   
When he opens his eyes, Steve is looking down at him. His body is fuzzy, a dull ache in everything. Steve’s eyes widen as he comes into focus.  
“Let’s get married.” Clint slurs. The look on Steve’s face a kaleidoscope of emotion.   
“Baby, it’s ok you don’t need to talk right now. You’ve been in an accident.” Steve says with concern.  
“I wanna marry you.” Clint says again with determination. His face swollen in spots and his words raspy. Steve crying happy tears. The same tears he sometimes gets when a surgery goes really well.   
“I love you!” Steve says quietly, carefully pressing a kiss to Clint’s forehead.   
“Love you too!” Clint says wincing as he tries to smile.  
“Nurse, can you page Doctor Romanoff?” Steve says with a smile to the nurse standing in the doorway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The epilogue will be longer and will be their wedding. Thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Subsequent chapters are going to be longer and shorter. Here is a cheat sheet because it will make it easier to follow who is who. Also I already have the next chapter written so it shouldn't be too far behind. Thank you for reading!
> 
> Character Breakdown:
> 
> Clint Barton - Orthopedics: Dating Steve Rogers. Slept with his best friend Natasha Romanoff on several occasions. 
> 
> Steve Rogers - Pediatrics: Former military who went on to become a pediatric surgeon. 
> 
> Natasha Romanoff - NST/Plastics: Best friend to Clint Barton. On again off again girlfriend of surgical resident James 
> 
> 'Bucky' Barnes who has also been involved with several other as of yet un-named colleagues, nurses etc. 
> 
> Tony Stark - Neuro: World renowned brain surgeon and husband of resident Pepper Potts. 
> 
> Pepper Potts - Resident: Surgical resident specializing in general surgery. 
> 
> Thor Odinson - Trauma Surgery: Former Field Doctor in a relationship with Jane Foster.
> 
> Jane Foster - Resident: Considered to have a gift for cardiology despite her cold nature. 
> 
> James 'Bucky' Banres: Resident: Specializing in pediatrics, inspired to get into medicine because of good friend Steve Rogers. On again off again boyfriend of Natasha Romanoff. 
> 
> Sam Wilson - Resident: Specializing in neonatal surgery. 
> 
> Darcy Lewis - Resident: Specializing in trauma despite everyone thinking she doesn't have what it takes for surgery.
> 
> Bruce Banner - General Surgery: The attending surgeon in charge of residents, who at one time was known as 'The Hulk' due to his infamous temper.
> 
> Nick Fury - Chief Of Surgery: The doctor in charge of all surgery, specializing in general surgery.
> 
> Maria Hill - Cardio-Thoracic: A talented heart surgeon who often faces conflict with regards to Jane Foster. Her predecessor was Phil Coulson who left working at the hospital suddenly.


End file.
